i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
