There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
