I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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