How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize