Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
