i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
