Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
