a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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