i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
