Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize