Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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