is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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