wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
