You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize