we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
