I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
