I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
