And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
