I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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