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• (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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• (107): View more from

  That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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• (818): View more from California

  I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking

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• (716): View more from New York

  FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n

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