Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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