Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
