found the other keg... it's in the tree
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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