that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize