Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize