WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn