Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.