How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.