Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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