I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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