that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
