So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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