'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
