there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize