I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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