32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
