well I can't set my house on fire every night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
