I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
