i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize