Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
