I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize