This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
