What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize