this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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