U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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