we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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