I think I died a long time ago.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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