i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
