so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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