apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
