I got chris browned last night
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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