i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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