I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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