is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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