Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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