I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
