you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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