I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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