butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
