I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Everclear isn't food dammit
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
