at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
