so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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