I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
