i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
