No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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