I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
